So if you want to be a sexy Minion, you can be the “Human Mania” costume, which, lol, or you can also be a Despicable Human. But what do you call a Smuf, other than what they are? They’re like…blue…blue buddies? Okay, you know what, let’s go on to the next costume, I’ll put Blue Buddy as a placeholder here, but I’ll go back before deadline and change it to something better.” Human Mania Costumeīy far the best thing about these sexy Halloween costumes is that there are sometimes different variations of the same relatively generic costume idea, but each one has to have a different name. “Shit, the Smurf people are litigious as shit, they’re not going to let us get away with much. We can see the copywriter for Yandy just sweating this one out. This is by far the stupidest way to describe Smurfette, or really any of the Smurfs. ![]() The best thing about these costume names is that sometimes, they describe what they’re supposed to be in a way that makes you go, “Huh, I never thought about it that way.” So Pac-Man becomes an arcade chaser, which, well, yeah, we suppose that the purpose of the game is to chase things. Worst Sexy Costumes (With Hilarious Generic Names) Here are some of the dumbest sexy costumes, and what they’re called. No, seriously, these names, we can’t get enough of them. It’s dumb, but also kind of funny in a ridiculous way. So, while you might want to dress up as a “sexy Spock” (but, like, why?) you’ll probably need to look for something along the lines of a “sexy pointy-eared alien.” You get the idea. But in doing that, you often have to face that other great American export that is “bloodthirsty corporate lawyers,” which means that if you really want to sell a costume you may have to change your costume name so as to not get sued into bankruptcy. Now, in the sexy costume industry, which we guess weirdly serves as a metaphor for America now that we think about it, the easiest way to make money is to profit on things that are already popular. That said, each year, sites such as come out with hundreds of costumes that mostly consist of “swimsuits with something drawn on it” or “like, let’s take a normal costume, and then cut away the midsection,” so there’s got to be a market for this kind of stuff. ![]() “Many adult women wear sexy Halloween costumes” is the kind of hot take you’d expect to hear from a middling stand-up comic in 2002, and we’ve covered the topic in our oh-so-subtle way years back, but whatever, the “sexy costume” industry thrives during Halloween, even though realistically you end up seeing like, ten women wearing the costumes, tops, each year. ~Women Wearing Sexy Character Costumes, Apparently ![]() “I’d tell you what I’m dressed up as, but Disney’s got some powerful lawyers.”
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